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Category: May 2005
Unconscious Mutterings [05/29/05]
[Memes - Unconscious Mutterings]
- Crowd:: yuck
- Hamburger:: yum
- Choker:: headache
- Lights:: Christmas
- Tinsel:: ha! Christmas
- Testament:: Bible
- Best part of the day:: ?
- Election:: vote
- Clarinet:: reed
- Cake or death:: cake, please
Just Some Stuff - Poops, Car Washes and Three Day Weekends [05/28/05]
- To the bird who pooped on the driver's side window of my car, thank you. Having a large white smear of crap in my peripheral vision motivated me to go to the car wash. My car is all shiny now.
- I haven't been to a car wash in years, and the last time I went, someone else ran the controls. I didn't know what to do and wasted a bunch of quarters. Next time, I'll know how it works, though.
- I am once again amazed at all the people who pack their three day weekends full of activities. I look forward to three day weekends so I can have three days of doing nothing in particular. If I want to do something, I'll take a vacation and do it while everyone else is working.
Just Some Stuff - Doggies, Season Finales and Muppets [05/27/05]
- On the way to work today, I saw a loose little dog and another dog poking his head out of a fence. I stopped and reattached a loose board and coaxed the little dog to go to his front door. I rang the doorbell and a little kid let the dog in and thanked me. Loose dogs worry the heck out of me.
- Lilydawg stayed home today instead of going to doggie day care. I came home at lunch to take her out. I stopped at Long John Silvers to pick up a platter of fish and chicken. I love that place. I wish they had better french fries, though.
- I'm glad my favorite shows are having their season finales. I need a break to watch the movies that are backed up on my TiVo. The "Alias" season finale shocked the heck out of me. The "House" season finale last Tuesday was great, but oddly enough, the next season of "House" starts this Tuesday.
- I like the Muppets. I sure don't like Miss Piggy, though. She's annoying. I'm watching the Muppets' Wizard of Oz. Kermit (scarecrow) just asked the Wizard if he was related to Frank Oz. hee hee
Ups and Downs in the Texas Legislature [05/25/05]
Listening to the Legislative Committee hearings this year was neat. The bill that requires the web sites I develop to be accessible to state employees with disabilities passed, and that makes me very happy.
The disheartening thing about this session, though, is that the proposed amendment to the Texas Constitution to ban gay marriage passed. It will go to voters in November. There’s already a law that bans gay marriage; they just want to get it into the Constitution to make damned sure no court overturns that law.
There were many more witness against the bill than for it, but, sadly, it passed anyway. What’s the use of witnesses if they aren’t going to influence the outcome? See what I mean:
I fear there are too many closed-minded people in Texas for it to not pass in November. Even people I respect a lot who I don’t consider closed-minded say they will vote for the amendment because they simply don’t want to change the definition of marriage. No good reason why… they just say they don’t want to change the definition. I still don’t get it. Anyway… it was great to listen to the legislative process. I’ll definitely listen again next biennium.
See more progress on: Listen to Texas Legislative Committee Hearings
The disheartening thing about this session, though, is that the proposed amendment to the Texas Constitution to ban gay marriage passed. It will go to voters in November. There’s already a law that bans gay marriage; they just want to get it into the Constitution to make damned sure no court overturns that law.
There were many more witness against the bill than for it, but, sadly, it passed anyway. What’s the use of witnesses if they aren’t going to influence the outcome? See what I mean:
I fear there are too many closed-minded people in Texas for it to not pass in November. Even people I respect a lot who I don’t consider closed-minded say they will vote for the amendment because they simply don’t want to change the definition of marriage. No good reason why… they just say they don’t want to change the definition. I still don’t get it. Anyway… it was great to listen to the legislative process. I’ll definitely listen again next biennium.
See more progress on: Listen to Texas Legislative Committee Hearings
100 Happy Things: Scratches, Routines, Bruce, TiVo, and Tools [05/23/05]
67. When someone plays with the back of my hair or scratches my back. 68. Having a routine. It makes me feel in control and stable which contributes greatly to my sense of well-being. I can get a lot more done when I have a routine, too. Until I established routines for washing clothes and grocery shopping, it was a coin toss whether I’d have something clean to wear or something in the kitchen to eat.
69. Breaking out of my Routine. It’s fun to go wild sometimes, too.
70. Having conversations with my friend Bruce at work. He understands totally geeky math and programming humor. I can’t describe the humor… it’s just the kind of stuff that comes up as part of our work. That’s him in the picture hanging toys from the ceiling.
71. TiVo. Another one of those “how did I ever live without it” items.
72. Finding a tool that makes a task easier. Software or hardware.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Songs That Have To Play Through [05/22/05]
[Music]
Rob started it, and I'm playing along. As Rob puts it:
Even on my own mix CDs that only contain songs I like, I come across songs that I don’t care to hear at that moment. This particular occasion made me think about the handful of songs I come across that I almost always repeat and that I never skip over, change channels if its on the radio, or turn off.I fussed over my list for more than an hour. It got up to 37 songs, but after I put them all into a playlist and listened some more, I whittled it down to 28. I decided that was the magic number since my birthday is on the 28th of April. Here we go:
- "Ender" by Ash Can Painters
- "Desperately Wanting" by Better than Ezra
- "All Too Familiar" by Bill Derome
- "Can't Find My Way Home" by Blind Faith
- "A Little Like Lightning" by Colleen Jameson
- "Mr. Jones" unplugged version by Counting Crows
- "Color Blind" by Counting Crows
- "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House
- "Change (In the House of Flies)" by Deftones
- "Never Is A Promise" by Fiona Apple
- "She Says" by Howie Day
- "Guide Vocal" by Genesis
- "Ghost" by Indigo Girls
- "On and On" by Longpigs
- "Never Die Young" by Lori McKenna
- "If You're Gone" by Matchbox Twenty
- "To Sheila" a Smashing Pumpkins cover by Mick OD
- "Kite" by Patty Griffin
- "Daughter" by Pearl Jam
- "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
- "Sofkuri's Room" by The Push Stars
- "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead
- "Don't Wanna Know" by The Refreshments
- "Cannonball" by Rhetoric Tuesday
- "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins
- "Birthday" by The Sugarcubes
- "Winter" by Tori Amos
- "Love Reign O'er Me" by The Who
Dream Journal - Frustrated at Wendy's Diner [05/22/05]
I dreamt I was in Oklahoma visiting my Aunt. We had driven to another city about 1-2 hours away. We went to a cafeteria. My cousin and some other people were with us. The cafeteria was part of the Wendy's franchise, but if you called it Wendy's diner or made any reference to Wendy's, you would get admonished. They had wonderful food.
The first thing in line was desserts (my kind of cafeteria!). I think I picked out two desserts. When I got to the main dishes, I stepped away from my tray for a second to get something from another part of the line. When I came back, my tray was gone. I thought they thought I abandoned it, but when I pieced it together, I realized they had pulled it off line because they decided I was too fat to eat that much. I was furious.
I told my family, but they weren't concerned. I went to the manager or public relations person and told her how frustrated I was, and she didn't do anything to help me.
Despite the problem, I went back again another day. I was self-conscious about my weight, but I got through the line okay.
Later, I remembered the first time I had picked up a blue tray that most others didn't. I had put a clock on my tray, too. The tray and clock had the word frustrated on them. I saw a sign with the address of the headquarters. The street and city had the word "Frustrated" in them. For example, the street might have been 8216 Frustrated Way. The title of the person listed was Chief Frustrating Officer. I realized it was something they did to people who picked up the frustrating tray as a joke.
Another thing that made me upset in the dream was that I was supposed to go back home, but my Aunt kept taking me places. We still had a 1-2 hour drive back to her house before I could make the 8 hour drive back to my house. I was crying because it was getting so late.
In another part of the dream, I was back home. I was walking through the neighborhood with a couple of friends. We came upon a house with a little girl in the driveway. She normally lived at the end of my street, but this was another street. She was real bossy. I told my friends that she wasn't that bossy when she lived on my street. There were pretty flowers in people's gardens, and I thought I should take another walk later and bring my camera.
We kept walking and came to a business district. I heard music playing and thought it might be the band Shoulders. My friend turned into a recessed entrance to a building. We walked up a ramp and through a door not easily seen from the street. It was a candy shop/bakery. It was crowded, and the band was in there. I couldn't tell if it was Shoulders, but I saw people playing horns. From the street, you wouldn't know anything was going on in this building. I got in line, and couldn't decide what I wanted and ended up quickly ordering a chocolate chip cookie because there were lots of people in line behind me.
The first thing in line was desserts (my kind of cafeteria!). I think I picked out two desserts. When I got to the main dishes, I stepped away from my tray for a second to get something from another part of the line. When I came back, my tray was gone. I thought they thought I abandoned it, but when I pieced it together, I realized they had pulled it off line because they decided I was too fat to eat that much. I was furious.
I told my family, but they weren't concerned. I went to the manager or public relations person and told her how frustrated I was, and she didn't do anything to help me.
Despite the problem, I went back again another day. I was self-conscious about my weight, but I got through the line okay.
Later, I remembered the first time I had picked up a blue tray that most others didn't. I had put a clock on my tray, too. The tray and clock had the word frustrated on them. I saw a sign with the address of the headquarters. The street and city had the word "Frustrated" in them. For example, the street might have been 8216 Frustrated Way. The title of the person listed was Chief Frustrating Officer. I realized it was something they did to people who picked up the frustrating tray as a joke.
Another thing that made me upset in the dream was that I was supposed to go back home, but my Aunt kept taking me places. We still had a 1-2 hour drive back to her house before I could make the 8 hour drive back to my house. I was crying because it was getting so late.
In another part of the dream, I was back home. I was walking through the neighborhood with a couple of friends. We came upon a house with a little girl in the driveway. She normally lived at the end of my street, but this was another street. She was real bossy. I told my friends that she wasn't that bossy when she lived on my street. There were pretty flowers in people's gardens, and I thought I should take another walk later and bring my camera.
We kept walking and came to a business district. I heard music playing and thought it might be the band Shoulders. My friend turned into a recessed entrance to a building. We walked up a ramp and through a door not easily seen from the street. It was a candy shop/bakery. It was crowded, and the band was in there. I couldn't tell if it was Shoulders, but I saw people playing horns. From the street, you wouldn't know anything was going on in this building. I got in line, and couldn't decide what I wanted and ended up quickly ordering a chocolate chip cookie because there were lots of people in line behind me.
Happy Birthday, BrykMan! [05/19/05]
[Woo Hoo!]
A big 'Happy Birthday' to 
Better Today [05/18/05]
I'm feeling better today. I'm still having debates with phantoms in my head, but it's not as bad. I feel like the phantoms are listening with respect now.
Oddly enough, I slept the night through last night. I forgot to set my alarm before I fell asleep, but I woke up on time anyway. Whew!
I think I slept better for two reasons:
Random Thought: I like Mimosas (orange juice and champagne), but I don't like to drink often, so I make virgin mimosas with orange juice and seltzer water. Yum!
Oddly enough, I slept the night through last night. I forgot to set my alarm before I fell asleep, but I woke up on time anyway. Whew!
I think I slept better for two reasons:
- I walked around the neighborhood for twenty minutes after dinner. Exercise always does me good. I should have done it again tonight, but I worked late.
- I did not eat a piece of the chocolate raspberry truffle cake that's in my fridge. I shouldn't have eaten a piece tonight, but it tastes so good.
Random Thought: I like Mimosas (orange juice and champagne), but I don't like to drink often, so I make virgin mimosas with orange juice and seltzer water. Yum!
100 Happy Things: Window seats, Walking, Whole Foods, Shoes, and Music [05/17/05]
62. Sitting in the window seat on a plane.63. When I’m out walking with Lily, and Diva, the neighbor's chihuahua, comes for a walk with us.
64. Whole Foods Market. My goodness they have good food.
65. Athletic shoes (also known as tennis shoes even though I haven’t played tennis in years). I’m not comfortable if I’m not in my Nikes (or K-Swiss, etc.).
66. Music. I haven’t mentioned music yet? What was I thinking?
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
BiPolar Work [05/17/05]
Work is a bit bipolar at the moment. On one hand, it's the most exciting time because we're in the homestretch of a big project that's turning out amazing (at least I think so). I don't think I better talk about the other hand.
It's got me down, though. It's got my mind going 90 miles an hour all the time, having debates with phantoms in my head. It's times like these that I can't concentrate well on important things. Like driving. When I had my wreck 3 years ago, I was in one of those debating-phantoms-in-my-head moments, ran a red light, and slammed into a VW Jetta. Hopefully, my awareness of the situation this time is enough to avoid trouble like that.
I haven't slept a whole night through in a while. I'd love some good drugs to help with that. I don't want to be a zombie, though.
It's crazy how when one thing is bothering you, all your other demons come to life. I wish several times a day that I had someone to come home to.
I made deviled eggs tonight. It didn't help keep my mind off things, but they sure are tasty.
It's got me down, though. It's got my mind going 90 miles an hour all the time, having debates with phantoms in my head. It's times like these that I can't concentrate well on important things. Like driving. When I had my wreck 3 years ago, I was in one of those debating-phantoms-in-my-head moments, ran a red light, and slammed into a VW Jetta. Hopefully, my awareness of the situation this time is enough to avoid trouble like that.
I haven't slept a whole night through in a while. I'd love some good drugs to help with that. I don't want to be a zombie, though.
It's crazy how when one thing is bothering you, all your other demons come to life. I wish several times a day that I had someone to come home to.
I made deviled eggs tonight. It didn't help keep my mind off things, but they sure are tasty.
Audioscrobbler... One of these things... [05/17/05]
[Music]
I've been playing with Audioscrobbler.com. My music players (iTunes and Winamp) report to them what I'm listening to, and they build charts for me. They also give me recommendations based on other people's similar listening habits.
Here's this week's weekly artist chart for my listening habits. One of these things is not like the others...
Here's this week's weekly artist chart for my listening habits. One of these things is not like the others...
100 Happy Things: Accomplishment, Webcams, Pine Nuts, Cardinals, and more. [05/14/05]
51. The feeling of accomplishment or making great progress.52. Webcams. It’s fun to see what things are like in other parts of the world.
53. Driving my car with the windows open and the heater going on a cold, sunny day.
54. Pine nuts.
55. Store bought ice. Ice trays are a pain in the ankle. Ice from the store tastes better anyway.
56. Seeing my Mom’s handwriting.
57. Seeing a cardinal. Especially when the sun hits him just right, and he appears bright red.
58. Swiffer dusters.
59. Making a paper airplane that soars.
60. The National Do Not Call Registry.
61. Pay at the Pump.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Book Meme [05/13/05]
[Reading]
Meme grabbed from Hurtling towards obscurity.
- Grab the nearest book.
- Open the book to page 123.
- Find the fifth full sentence.
- Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
- Don't search around for the coolest book you can find. Use what's actually nearest to you.
But by mid-May, the sun rises out of the morning's haze with authority and potency, and standing on your top step at seven in the morning with your dinner bucket in your hand, you know that the dew will be melted off the grass by eight and that the dust on the back roads will hang depthless and still in the air for five minutes after a car's passage; and that by one in the afternoon it will be up to ninety-five on the third floor of the mill and the sweat will roll of your arms like oil and stick your shirt to your back in a widening patch and it might as well be July.Cripes... that's one of the longest sentences ever. Anyone want to guess who wrote that?
100 Happy Things: Waterfalls, Zoos, Cover songs, Lava Lamps and Dreams [05/13/05]
46. Waterfalls. My cousin Emily took me around to a bunch of waterfalls along the Columbia River in Oregon a decade ago. I want to go back again. I admire their beauty and respect their power.47. Zoos and Aquariums. I always like to go to the zoos and aquariums on my excursions to other cities. Taking pictures of the animals makes me happy.
48. Cover songs. I love to hear others’ interpretations of songs. I love to record them myself.
49. Lava lamps. Sometimes I watch the lava for minutes at a time.
50. Remembering good dreams.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
100 Happy Things: Pet Love, Stained Glass, TV, Raspberries, Maps and more. [05/11/05]
34. When Lily Dawg and I get home from playday and work, respectively, and Orion Cat runs to greet Lily.35. The stained glass rose that my friend Bud made for me.
36. My favorite TV shows. Right now they are Joan of Arcadia, House, Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, and American Idol.
37. Raspberries.
38. Satellite Maps. I’m crazy for Google Maps.
39. When I’m agonizing over a problem for days, and the solution finally comes clear.
40. Forget about Ricky Williams’ last couple of years for a minute. It makes me happy to remember him breaking the NCAA rushing record with a touchdown against the Texas Aggies.
41. A new toothbrush.
42. When the bathroom rugs are freshly washed, fluffy and free from footprint indentions.
43. Finally getting to the heart of the matter.
44. Penguins!
45. Getting a new car.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Just Some Stuff [05/10/05]
- First off: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! That's all I have to say about that.
- I'm coloring my hair tonight.
- I went to CVS to buy hair color, and they had Coke with Splenda. It's about time Coke got on board with Splenda. It tastes okay. Now they just need to come out with Caffiene Free Coke with Splenda and Lime, and I'll be a convert.
- When I went to check out, there was one woman waiting to check out and no clerk. I was very busy with my own thoughts and in no hurry, so it didn't bother me. But the longer we waited the more the waiting woman bitched. I know she had a right to bitch, but I can't take the negativity. Then she refused to walk over to the photo counter to check out when the photo dude offered to help her.
- I also bought two kinds of cookies and Fudge Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm stressed out.
- The picture I had taken yesterday for a newsletter article turned out okay. My eyes and smile are cute. The thing I don't like about it has nothing to do with photography or lighting. It's my own fault that I need to lose 70 pounds. And then I'll still be overweight to some people.
- I get to go to Corpus Christi next month on business. I'm going a couple days early. That might be the only vacation I get this summer.
100 Happy Things: Smiles, Independence, Celebrities, Lights, and my Dad [05/09/05]
29. Being front row at a concert, making eye contact with the artist, smiling, and seeing him or her smile back at me.
30. Feeling my independence. I feel it when I go on vacations by myself, and shop by myself and go to movies by myself.
31. Seeing celebrities. I’ve seen former Governor Ann Richards a couple of times recently—once at Starbucks and once walking out of Whole Foods Market.
32. Christmas lights.
33. Remembering my Dad’s unconditional love and thinking he’s still watching over me. This one makes me sad, too, but mostly it makes me happy.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
30. Feeling my independence. I feel it when I go on vacations by myself, and shop by myself and go to movies by myself.
31. Seeing celebrities. I’ve seen former Governor Ann Richards a couple of times recently—once at Starbucks and once walking out of Whole Foods Market.
32. Christmas lights.
33. Remembering my Dad’s unconditional love and thinking he’s still watching over me. This one makes me sad, too, but mostly it makes me happy.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
No Smoking! [05/08/05]
[Austin]
The ordinance to ban smoking in bars, bowling alleys and other public places passed yesterday 52% to 48%. It takes effect September 1. News 8 Austin interviewed someone outside the polls who was against the ban, and he said something that offended me greatly as a musician:
Anyone want to go with me to a bar featuring live music and clean air September 1st?
Really what we're talking about is Austin's status as live music capital of the world. We're talking about an ordinance that if passed would severely harm Austin, and cut right to the heart and soul of what Austin is: its live music scene.Why won't smokers still go to the live music shows and step outside to smoke? Is smoking so important that they'll cut out the wonderful experience of live music from their lives just because they have to step outside for a cigarette?
Anyone want to go with me to a bar featuring live music and clean air September 1st?
Cursed! [05/08/05]
This morning, I headed out with a 50% off coupon for up to 2 dozen donuts from Round Rock donuts. On the back, it said there was a Round Rock donut shop not too far from my house. But it wasn’t there. 
There was a restaurant at that address. It could be they had Round Rock donuts inside, but I didn’t want to walk in and have to walk back out if they didn’t.
The other two locations are on the other side of town, and I wasn’t interested in that big of an adventure on a rainy Sunday morning.
I ended up at Krispy Kreme to at least quench my donut craving. Their donuts are far inferior to Round Rock donuts, though. I had a hot-off-the glazing belt donut, and it was icky. Yech! I like a little more substance to a donut. I ended up getting 3 chocolate covered creme filled and 3 glazed sour cream.
Perhaps the third time I try to use a coupon from this Passbook will be the charm. I’ll keep trying.
See more progress on: Use my passbook coupons
There was a restaurant at that address. It could be they had Round Rock donuts inside, but I didn’t want to walk in and have to walk back out if they didn’t.The other two locations are on the other side of town, and I wasn’t interested in that big of an adventure on a rainy Sunday morning.
I ended up at Krispy Kreme to at least quench my donut craving. Their donuts are far inferior to Round Rock donuts, though. I had a hot-off-the glazing belt donut, and it was icky. Yech! I like a little more substance to a donut. I ended up getting 3 chocolate covered creme filled and 3 glazed sour cream.
Perhaps the third time I try to use a coupon from this Passbook will be the charm. I’ll keep trying.
See more progress on: Use my passbook coupons
Dream Journal - A Concert and Stainless Steel Bowls [05/08/05]
I was at a concert in a strange venue. There were tables and chairs like a restaurant close to the stage, but I was at the back on couches. It was bright inside like daylight was streaming through. I was sitting with some people, but I don't know who they were: a young boy and his mother. When it seemed like it was close to show time. I ran up to the front of the stage. Other people ran up there, too, but I got a front row spot.
A girl was pulling on the curtain and it fell down. Some people hurried up to the stage to put it back up. The curtain was made of plastic strips like you'd find at the opening of a walk in refrigerator.
Then I walked back to where I had been before to get some stuff I had brought to the venue. I don't remember what it was, but there were several bowls. One or two were stainless steel. I took them up to the front of the stage and set them at my feet. Then I thought they were in the way, so I took them back to the back again in a few trips.
Then someone gave me some responsibility. I think I was supposed to work in the infirmary. I was walking around behind the stage with some keys.
At some point, I saw my friend Mick OD in the audience. I got his attention, but I don't remember what happened after that.
A girl was pulling on the curtain and it fell down. Some people hurried up to the stage to put it back up. The curtain was made of plastic strips like you'd find at the opening of a walk in refrigerator.
Then I walked back to where I had been before to get some stuff I had brought to the venue. I don't remember what it was, but there were several bowls. One or two were stainless steel. I took them up to the front of the stage and set them at my feet. Then I thought they were in the way, so I took them back to the back again in a few trips.
Then someone gave me some responsibility. I think I was supposed to work in the infirmary. I was walking around behind the stage with some keys.
At some point, I saw my friend Mick OD in the audience. I got his attention, but I don't remember what happened after that.
100 Happy Things: Happy Wrong Turns, Flowers, Voting, Football and more [05/07/05]
23. Taking a wrong turn and seeing something cool I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. I was driving my aunt around Oklahoma City. I took a wrong turn and ended up seeing the state capitol building lit up at night. It was beautiful. 24. Getting flowers at work. It’s only happened a few times in my life. Unfortunately, some think spending money on flowers is a waste of money. I don’t think of it as spending money on flowers, but spending money to make someone happy.
25. Voting on something I feel strongly about. I don’t vote often. This week I voted for the ordinance to ban smoking in public buildings in Austin. It makes me even happier when the results go the way I voted.
26. Football. I sure miss football in the off season.
27. Old family photos.
28. The internet.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Just Some Stuff [05/07/05]
- I went for a haircut this afternoon. I got a cheap Supercuts haircut this time. Yolanda cut my hair. As she was washing my hair, she asked if I was ready for tomorrow. I asked, "What's tomorrow?" She said, "Mother's Day." I said, "Oh. No, I guess not." She asked me, "You don't have kids?" That took me by surprise because I wasn't thinking of it from a being-a-mom perspective. I felt bad for her because I knew what her next question would be. When she asked about my mother, I told her my mom passed away about 10 years ago. She expressed her sympathy. I guess most women my age either have mothers, are mothers or both.
- I have to get my picture taken on Monday for a newsletter article written about me at work. The article is real cool, but I'm not looking forward to the picture because I've done my best to restrict the pictures of me that get out into the public. I'm a big fatso, and I only let the pictures out that are taken with great care to minimize that (camera angles and shadows). I don't like to be a burden on people, though, nor do I want the reputation of a diva, so I'll probably just accept whatever picture is taken and hate it for the rest of my life. It's got me feeling depressed. I know everyone will assure me I look fine to them. That's not the point. I want to look fine to me.
- I think I'll wash my hair now and see what happens to it when I style it myself. I bought some Tea Tree Oil shampoo with peppermint oil that feels good on my scalp, so it'll be like a pamper session. Maybe I'll give myself a facial, too.
Dream Journal - Mixed Signals and the Sprinting Director [05/07/05]
I was at a gathering with a co-worker. Let's call him Guy. Guy and I were having a fun time. When it was time to go, Guy went out to get the car. I still had to settle some business inside. I was trying to buy something, but it wasn't working out. Then I was waiting for the clerk to give me something. It took a while, and when I finally went outside, Guy was driving away toward the far corner of the parking lot. He had a cool light yellow car with brown shellacked seats.
I started walking toward the far corner, and I noticed Guy's significant other sitting in the middle of the parking lot. I stood close, but I'd never been introduced, so I didn't speak. When I got over to Guy's car, he had gotten out of it and into a *very* tall silver utility vehicle. He looked down at me and told me something like, "Don't even try to speak to me." He was angry, and I had no idea why. I pleaded with him to tell me what was wrong, but he drove off.
I was crying pretty hard. I ended up getting a ride to my house with another co-worker, Eva.
Later, I was at work standing with my supervisor and the division director. We heard something outside and someone suggested we race to the window. My supervisor went one way. I started to run the other way, but then remembered the division director was there and restrained myself. The division director sprinted past me to get to the window himself. I ran after him. He got to a conference room with a closed door and barged in. It was full of people. I was embarrassed and peaked my head around the door to see who was in there.
Later, I saw Guy and asked him why he wouldn't talk to me earlier. He shrugged his shoulders and wouldn't say. Later again, when no one was around, he kissed me. He also held my hand under the table.
I started walking toward the far corner, and I noticed Guy's significant other sitting in the middle of the parking lot. I stood close, but I'd never been introduced, so I didn't speak. When I got over to Guy's car, he had gotten out of it and into a *very* tall silver utility vehicle. He looked down at me and told me something like, "Don't even try to speak to me." He was angry, and I had no idea why. I pleaded with him to tell me what was wrong, but he drove off.
I was crying pretty hard. I ended up getting a ride to my house with another co-worker, Eva.
Later, I was at work standing with my supervisor and the division director. We heard something outside and someone suggested we race to the window. My supervisor went one way. I started to run the other way, but then remembered the division director was there and restrained myself. The division director sprinted past me to get to the window himself. I ran after him. He got to a conference room with a closed door and barged in. It was full of people. I was embarrassed and peaked my head around the door to see who was in there.
Later, I saw Guy and asked him why he wouldn't talk to me earlier. He shrugged his shoulders and wouldn't say. Later again, when no one was around, he kissed me. He also held my hand under the table.
Smoking Ban [05/06/05]
[Austin]
I early voted this week, and I'm so proud of myself. I wanted to cast a ballot for the smoking ban that's caused much controversy here in Austin. It will ban smoking from bars, and smoking drunks are up in arms. Actually, bar owners are up in arms because they claim their bars will shut down if people can't smoke in them. I call bullshit.
The most ridiculous claim I heard is that the smoking ban will hurt the South by Southwest Music Festival because no one will come to the shows. Am I supposed to believe people go to those shows just to smoke? It's not the South by Southwest Smoking Festival. I call bullshit.
Anyway... I voted to ban smoking. The last live music show I went to in a bar was a special non-smoking show. It was full of people.
The most ridiculous claim I heard is that the smoking ban will hurt the South by Southwest Music Festival because no one will come to the shows. Am I supposed to believe people go to those shows just to smoke? It's not the South by Southwest Smoking Festival. I call bullshit.
Anyway... I voted to ban smoking. The last live music show I went to in a bar was a special non-smoking show. It was full of people.
My New Monitor [05/06/05]
[Woo Hoo!]
I know you've been dying to hear about my new monitor for days and days, and I've been keeping it all to myself. Here it is, peeps:
It's a 20.1 inch ViewSonic. I'm loving it! Compared to my last one, it's larger and smaller at the same time. Larger picture, smaller footprint. See my last monitor.
The guy at Fry's probably thinks I'm an idiot. I was looking at this model, but it was plugged into a computer that output at 1280 x whatever. Native resolution is 1600, so it looked crappy. I told a sales guy about it so he'd change it, but he misunderstood and gave me a long explanation about *why* it was plugged into a computer that output at 1280 (that several monitors were plugged into the same computer). I didn't care why... I just wanted to see it with the correct resolution.
He seemed a little put out, but unplugged and plugged some cables. Then the monitor was showing a Star Wars trailer. I thought it was a DVD or TV or something, so I said, "Can I see 'computer'?" He seemed put out again, and hit the ESC key or something that made Windows Media Player go from full screen mode to regular window. That's when I thought he probably thought I was an idiot. Whatever.
I liked the way it looked, so I took one home with me. Yay!
The guy at Fry's probably thinks I'm an idiot. I was looking at this model, but it was plugged into a computer that output at 1280 x whatever. Native resolution is 1600, so it looked crappy. I told a sales guy about it so he'd change it, but he misunderstood and gave me a long explanation about *why* it was plugged into a computer that output at 1280 (that several monitors were plugged into the same computer). I didn't care why... I just wanted to see it with the correct resolution.
He seemed a little put out, but unplugged and plugged some cables. Then the monitor was showing a Star Wars trailer. I thought it was a DVD or TV or something, so I said, "Can I see 'computer'?" He seemed put out again, and hit the ESC key or something that made Windows Media Player go from full screen mode to regular window. That's when I thought he probably thought I was an idiot. Whatever.
I liked the way it looked, so I took one home with me. Yay!
100 Happy Things: Roller Coasters, Recipes, Round Rock Donuts and Lost Songs [05/06/05]
19. Smooth roller coasters. The kind with big drops, but not so many jerky turns.
20. Find a new and easy recipe for something delicious.
21. Getting to work in the morning to find someone has brought chocolate covered Round Rock donuts.
22. Hearing a song I love that I completely forgot about. I found an MP3 for Bourgeois Tagg’s “I Don’t Mind At All” not too long ago. I wonder how many other jewels like that I’ve lost from memory. I guess it’s good to lose them so I can be happy when I find them again.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
20. Find a new and easy recipe for something delicious.
21. Getting to work in the morning to find someone has brought chocolate covered Round Rock donuts.
22. Hearing a song I love that I completely forgot about. I found an MP3 for Bourgeois Tagg’s “I Don’t Mind At All” not too long ago. I wonder how many other jewels like that I’ve lost from memory. I guess it’s good to lose them so I can be happy when I find them again.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
100 Happy Things: Scripts, Carpet, Haircuts and a Song in 6/8 Time [05/04/05]
15. Successful Programming. I love it when I can take a script or program and successfully adapt it for my needs. I’m not always successful, but I’ve found if I keep at it, I eventually get it done. Bonus points when it works the first time.
16. Freshly Vacuumed Carpet.
17. Having a New Haircut. Going to get a haircut is not so fun, but I love it when it’s done.
18. A Touching Song in 6/8 time. Like Lady Jane Grey’s “Never Should Have Trusted You.” Not a happy title, but the overall feel of the song makes me happy.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
16. Freshly Vacuumed Carpet.
17. Having a New Haircut. Going to get a haircut is not so fun, but I love it when it’s done.
18. A Touching Song in 6/8 time. Like Lady Jane Grey’s “Never Should Have Trusted You.” Not a happy title, but the overall feel of the song makes me happy.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Just Some Stuff - Eyewear for dogs, Kit Cat, Fresh Flowers and Whole Foods [05/02/05]
- I saw a dog with sunglasses today. They were strapped on with a harness. He had his head hanging out of a truck window. He looked happy and cute!
- I've given Orion a nickname. I call him Kit Cat. I love my Kit Cat.
- I bought fresh flowers on Sunday. I think I'll do that every so often. Fresh flowers add so much to a room.
- Whole Foods opened a giant flagship store on my way home from work a couple months ago. I've been avoiding it, thinking it would be crowded and nightmarish. Today, I needed parmesan cheese, so I took a chance. It was great! The problem is that I spend too much money and buy too many things that aren't good for me when I shop there. Like Belgian Kriek beer and a small cake. And Brie and crackers. I would have bought a S'more from the chocolate counter, too, if the lady hadn't been busy dipping strawberries.
- I'm going to try to get to sleep before 11:00 p.m. tonight. I've been staying up too late lately. That said... I better get to bed. 'night!
100 Happy Things: Helping and Harmonizing [05/02/05]
13. Helping a stranger. Like when I called a man to tell him some kids on my street found his lost dog. Or when I found a wallet and knocked on someone’s door to return it. He hadn’t even missed it yet.
14. Harmonizing. Harmony is good.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
14. Harmonizing. Harmony is good.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
100 Happy Things: Snow and Snail Mail [05/01/05]
11. Snow in Texas. I don’t see snow every year. I’ll bet if I did, I wouldn’t like it as much. When it falls here in Texas, it’s a magical thing. The last time I saw snow was last Christmas in Houston. I caught big snowflakes on my tongue. The time before that was Valentine’s Day, 2004 in Austin. Funny how it’s happened on holidays.12. Sending and receiving surprises through snail mail.
See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
Dream Journal - Kissing Scott [05/01/05]
I dreamt I kissed American Idol survivor Scott Stavol. Then I fed him a bite of chocolate cake by hand.
Monitor *Kaboom* [05/01/05]
I was at the tail end of a nap on the couch yesterday. I'd already woken up, but I was having a hard time getting up. Then I heard a series of quick clicks behind me that sounded like the kitty cat disturbing the vertical blinds. Lily barked at the noise.
I looked over and saw the cat on the back of the couch, so I knew it wasn't him. The blinds looked normal, too.
A short while later, I went to the computer to check what was going on in the cyber world, and found a black screen. After turning my desktop off and on a few times with no change, I hooked my laptop up to the monitor to see if it was a monitor problem. Yep. It just went kablooey, I guess.
I'd been wanting a new flat panel, so I wasn't devastated. It couldn't have happened at a better time, too... Saturday evening when I don't have anywhere to be on Sunday.
I spent about an hour agonizing over monitors at CompUSA. I don't know anything about buying flat panel monitors. I ended up getting the cheapest 19 inch, an Envision brand.
I got it home and found out I can't make it go to a higher resolution than 1280 x whatever. Waaaaaaa! Photographs don't look crisp and beautiful like I'm used to seeing on my old monitor.
So today, I'm agonizing over taking it back. Do I stick with the cheap model and complain a lot for the next however many years I have it, or do I put out the cash and be happy with the quality? I'll probably take it back.
I looked online this morning, and found out the monitor I bought yesterday is $50 cheaper today than it was yesterday. I'll at least go back and get a credit for that.
I looked over and saw the cat on the back of the couch, so I knew it wasn't him. The blinds looked normal, too.
A short while later, I went to the computer to check what was going on in the cyber world, and found a black screen. After turning my desktop off and on a few times with no change, I hooked my laptop up to the monitor to see if it was a monitor problem. Yep. It just went kablooey, I guess.
I'd been wanting a new flat panel, so I wasn't devastated. It couldn't have happened at a better time, too... Saturday evening when I don't have anywhere to be on Sunday.
I spent about an hour agonizing over monitors at CompUSA. I don't know anything about buying flat panel monitors. I ended up getting the cheapest 19 inch, an Envision brand.
I got it home and found out I can't make it go to a higher resolution than 1280 x whatever. Waaaaaaa! Photographs don't look crisp and beautiful like I'm used to seeing on my old monitor.
So today, I'm agonizing over taking it back. Do I stick with the cheap model and complain a lot for the next however many years I have it, or do I put out the cash and be happy with the quality? I'll probably take it back.
I looked online this morning, and found out the monitor I bought yesterday is $50 cheaper today than it was yesterday. I'll at least go back and get a credit for that.
Unconscious Mutterings [05/01/05]
[Memes - Unconscious Mutterings]
- Texas:: home
- Scholarship:: money
- Runner-up:: second
- Mustang Sally:: white horse
- Jones:: John Paul
- Hard to get:: low supply
- Jewish:: Yarmulke
- Crew:: movie
- Cable:: television
- Assistant:: secretary
One Sun
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