Yay! Blog! v1.0
Category: Animals

The mystery of that giant bug that woke me up on Thursday is solved! It's a Large Eyed Click Beetle. The one crawling on me didn't have antennae like this one, though. I get click beetles in my house occasionally, but they're never that big. They're less than an inch long, and they make a terribly annoying clicking noise. I'm glad this one didn't start clicking. It was completely still from the time I swatted it off my leg until I put it outside. It didn't even mind me taking it's picture. I bet it was just as scared of me as I was of it.

I stayed home from work today because I'm having a bad allergy attack. I have fever, too, so it might not be allergies. I dunno, but I feel miserable. I was sleeping on the couch all afternoon. But I woke up because this was crawling on me. It's close to actual size, too. Go ahead... put your thumb and forefinger up to the screen and measure it for yourself. Just in case your screen resolution is different from mine, it's 2.5 inches long. Ugh. I can still feel it on me. I'm going to take a shower now.

I remember hearing about zoos trying to get male pandas interested in female pandas ever since I was a kid. Tonight I heard there's a new male panda, Gao Gao at the San Diego Zoo. I hope he falls in love. A little baby panda would be so cute. I'll try to catch Gao Gao on the Panda Cam later. It's dark there right now.

This morning, I was walking Lily, and she stopped to sniff a large tuft of grass in someone's yard. A lady in an SUV was pulling out of her driveway, and her headlights pointed right at us. She pulled farther into the road and stopped. Lily kept sniffing, and I just stood there. After a minute, she rolled her window down and said, "You don't let your dog go potty in my yard, do you?" I replied cheerily, "I don't."

I guess these are the conversations you have to have sometimes. I mean... she doesn't want my dog pottying in her yard. How else is she going to let me know about it? But it made me not like that lady so much, and now my brain is obsessing over it. Maybe I'd like her if I met her under different circumstances. But at 6:30 in the morning when I'm only half awake and having a nice walk with my dog, I don't like some lady asking me accusatory questions about my dog's potty habits. Hopefully, I'll get some other *good* distraction that will make me forget about it.

The place that I take Lily for doggy play day gave me a fridge magnet with her picture on it. It was a surprise. I said, "Yay!"

This morning when I was putting Lily in the car to go to doggy day care, I noticed my next door neighbor's dog was out. He's a big black dog. I don't know his name. I call him "sweetie" (just like I call every other nameless dog). I've never petted him. I just talk to him through the fence sometimes.

I don't know if he can be mean, but he's always been, well... not mean when I've seen him. One time I was in my bedroom, and I heard a loud bang from the back yard. That was when Mandy was still alive. Mandy ran out there to see what was up. I looked outside and was mortified because a section of fence had fallen down and the big black dog was in my yard looking at Mandy. I was afraid he would eat her up. But I went out there and he just looked at me and Mandy from a distance and went back through the hole in the fence. I propped the fence up again and told my landlord that the fence was broken.

Anyway.. this morning, I was in a quandry. My neighbor wasn't home, but his dog was out. His gate was wired shut, too, so I didn't know how the dog got out. And I had no idea whether the dog would come to me or if he would eat me up. But I just couldn't leave the dog out there to roam around all day without at least trying to do something.

So I walked down the street and asked the dog to come back home. And he did. I unwired the gate and opened it. The dog went right in. I went back inside my house to write a note to let the neighbor know his dog got out. When I came back outside, he was out again. Little devil.

So I went to the other side of the duplex and that neighbor's gate was open. She was outside, too, so I told her what was happening, and she shut her gate. I asked the dog to come home again, and he did. I wanted to pet him, but I didn't know how he would react. I wasn't scared, though. I think we had some kind of understanding between us.

I feel pretty good for helping out. I'll be worried all day, though, that the dog will get out again. But I feel real good that he went back in his yard when I asked him to.

Alrighty then... I've been going to the dog shelter every day this week. Kinda easing into getting a new dog. I finally filled out an application today. I put my name in for two different dogs. One is adoptable right now, but another lady is thinking about getting her. Her name is Lil Bit (but I will probably change her name if I get her):



The other one is a puppy. I didn't get to see her because she's in quarantine. But I saw her picture on the internet:



I figure I'll let fate decide. If that lady doesn't want Lil Bit, I'll take her. If not, I'll wait for the puppy to be ready. That'll be in a week or two.

I went to the shelter, but I didn't find Quinn (see post below). They had lots of dogs, though. Not so many puppies. It almost made me cry seeing all those doggies in cages wanting to go home with someone. I'd bring them all home if I could. haha Here's one I wanted, but she was already adopted:

I'm planning to go meet this little toot at the animal shelter after work. I hope he's still there. I hope he falls in love with me. And I hope he doesn't pee pee on me:

I wrote this letter to my Mandy girl today. It felt good.

Dear Mandy,
I miss you, girl. I hope you're having fun where you are.
I bet you're grandma and grandpa are happy to see you.
I've been cleaning the house. I thought I heard you last
night in the other room, but then I remembered you're
not here. Must have been Little Bird moving around.
I keep thinking you'll be here when I walk in the front
door, too. But then I remember again.

I've got all your toys together in the living room. Man...
you sure had a lot of toys. I know I bought a lot of them
over the last few months. It always made you so happy
to get a new toy. I guess I'll throw away the ones you
shredded. haha You could really shred a toy if it wasn't
made strongly enough. I'll keep the rest.

I'd give anything to have you here with me right now.
I never realized just how much you helped me through the
sad times. I thought maybe I could get some comfort from
Little Bird, but it's just not the same. I need to give out some
bear hugs and smooches, and he's just not made for that kind
of thing. I'm thinking about moving his cage in my bedroom,
though, for some extra company while I sit at the computer.

I was remembering some of the things you used to do today,
and it made me smile. Like how you used to get up on high
things. If I left a chair out and there was space on the kitchen
table, you'd get up there and lay down. I remember when you
were a puppy and you got up on the card table we had before
we got a real kitchen table. I was afraid you would get up there
and fall off. And when you got older, you thought you were sly
enough to do it only when I wasn't around. But I could tell.
I could tell you'd get up on the coffee table, too. Oh yeah...
you always liked to sleep on the top back part of the couch, too.
haha Sometimes I think maybe you were part cat.

I also remembered how you used to spin around when you
knew I was going into the kitchen to get you a goodie.
And how when I put my hands under the covers on the bed,
you would pounce on them and try to bite them (but not hard).
And how you would take a toy up on the bed and then body
slam it and roll around on top of it.
And how you would lay on my chest so content.

I love you. I hope someone is scratching your belly and rubbing
your ears and snout. And scratching your back right above your
tail. Give them lots of kisses for me because I want so much to be
able to do that for you. I added some more pictures to your gallery.
I love that one of you as a pup showing off your tail.

I guess the main thing I want to say is thank you.
For all the pain I'm feeling right now, I know it's the price I pay
for having such unconditional love from you for 11 years.
You'll always be in my heart, Mandy girl.
Kim @--}---

Sad news for today. I spent all morning and part of the afternoon with Mandy. Then I took her to the vet and kissed her goodbye. She wasn't able to walk more than a few steps without falling over. That's just not a good way to live for a pooch who loves to chase kitty cats out of the bushes, so I figured it was time. I feel numb and upset, but I'm okay. I'm taking off work tomorrow. I'll probably throw myself into some web project. Maybe work on my Lists Blog. Doing stuff like that keeps my mind off of things.

Just got back from the vet. Mandy's been limping all weekend. I've been giving her pain medication, but she wasn't getting better. The vet thinks maybe the cancer has gotten into her spinal chord or is messing with one of the nerves. So it's not pain that's making her limp, it's paralysis. He listened to her breathe and said it doesn't sound real good in there. She still seems happy, though, and she loves eating chicken. So I'm going to feed her a chicken breast before I go to work. She's looking at me right now. She's so sweet.

I'm having a hard time sleeping tonight. Actually, I slept okay until about 3:30 or 4:00. About 4:30, I decided to get up and surf the blogs and bulletin boards. I was sad to see that Dr. Oakroot's willow fell recently.

I've also been watching my dog. She was sleeping in the doorway to my room when I got up. She didn't wake up. Or if she did, she didn't make it apparent. I stared at her intensely at first. She has cancer, so when she doesn't react, I always watch for her breathing. And I saw that she was breathing. I've been noticing a steady decline in her. Well... not so steady... there are good days and bad days. Maybe even more like good minutes and bad minutes. She finally did wake up and had a hard time standing up. The cancer is at her back end now, and I think her hips probably hurt. She always had some arthritis in her hips anyway, so she has a little bit of a hard time walking. But once she got up and started walking around, she was okay. I give her pain medication twice a day.

She's my best friend in the world. I have to hand feed her now or she eats too fast and the food gets stuck in her mouth. She has tumors in the back of her throat, too. She seems happy, though. She's not as active as she used to be, but when she hears something outside worth barking at, she runs out there and barks. When she stops wanting to bark at the kitty cats, I'll know it's real close to the end. I really hope that when it happens, she goes peacefully in her sleep. I guess it's selfish of me, but I can't imagine making the decision myself. Calling the vet and driving her there knowing that I'll be coming home alone. I'll do it if she's in pain... I don't want her to hurt. But it will be the hardest thing I will ever have done in my 38 years.

I got her in October, 1991. She was a puppy from the pound. Her brother was there, too. I always wondered what happened to her brother. I hope he got a good home.

Ever have that feeling of wanting to bottle something up so you can keep it and enjoy it at a later time? Kinda like going to a great concert? Or being on a super vacation? That's how I feel about my girl dog. But the best I can do is give her lots of hugs and make sure that she's comfortable and that she knows she's loved. I guess I'll go back to bed and try to get some more sleep now.

Here are some pictures of some baby kitties that lived next door. They're so cute.

My song, Brown Eyes, is on the Performing Artists for Animal Rights, Volume 1 CD [note: this cd is no longer available]. My friend Mick OD's song, Believe, is on it, too. Even 60's star Melanie's daughter, Jeordie Schekeryk has a song on the CD. I've been listening to the music for a couple of days and Wow! This is a CD full of beautiful music. I'm not surprised... it was put together by the beautiful Serena Matthews, and our taste in music overlaps.

Proceeds benefit Happy Tales Humane, which is a no-kill animal shelter in Tennessee.